The Alders!

Cora and I are in Utah to visit the Alder family. We are having such a great time visiting family and friends and more family. We have been going to Christmas concerts (choir and orchestra) all week…. and just celebrating the Christmas season. It is so wonderful that I am healthy enough to take care of Cora and bring her on an airplane (and even change airlines on our layover) all the way to Utah.

Ryan’s mom, Tracy, and I made Christmas wreathes to decorate Ryan and his baby sister Kristiann’s graves for Christmas (Ryan’s grave is still unmarked because of ice). I was happy to visit the cemetery; first arriving at the cemetery brought stronger feelings than I was expecting, but it was actually really beautiful and peaceful with the snow covered land and Christmas decorations spread over many grave sites. Here with Ryan’s family, I am experiencing a lot of feelings/mourning/closure that I have needed and have been missing. I am happy to be here. And Cora loves meeting everyone. She really is a trooper. She lets me take her everywhere and meet lots of new people.

First time on Santa’s lap

Cora just stares at strangers…. and Santa is strange…. she did well with mom standing nearby.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

A new favorite picture of mine. This picture is curtesy of my friend Lindsey –  it was taken at her wedding in August.

God really helped us squeeze a lot of very special moments into our life together. . . so grateful for that!

Wanted to get this Halloween picture up before Thanksgiving….
Cora is such a fun baby

UPDATE:  I can move my neck (stiffly, but well), my lungs are doing fine (I had trauma inflamation), I’m walking a little faster every day, I can take longer outings everyday, I am doing career exploration (trying to find the best job for a mommy that wants to be with her girl as mush as possible), and feel good about building my future — with Cora as my inspiration and God on my side, how can I not? I’m continually blessed by the loving family and friends around me and, of course, by sweet memories of my Ryan….

Today I had C-4,C-5, and C-6 (cervical neck bones) fused together….not my favorite thing to do on a Wednesday, but I am so glad that the surgery is finished and I had a very good surgeon/hospital staff, my neck is truly on its way to recovery now, and I am feeling pretty good (Vikadin helps). I won’t be able to lift Cora for a few weeks, but I will be able to start building up my strength.
I am continually grateful for all the people that have been praying for me and Cora and our family and giving love and support so freely.
I had a special treat this weekend — Ryan’s sister was able to visit me in Oregon (I swear, the country is too big. I wish I could be with all my family and friends throughout the USA… and the world for that matter). We spent a lot of time talking about her memories of Ryan growing up and my memories of Ryan as a great husband. I can still feel his love from heaven… I am lucky
Oh, I am also looking forward to a visit from Ryan’s mother next week.
Most patients with this surgery only stay in the hospital overnight, so I should be back home before I know it.
God bless you all, whoever is reading this post.

The prayers continue to be answered and felt and the work continues as well. Cora has Dan and Krista by the heart and is just about to start rolling over. She grabs for things and plays with toys and smiles all the time. She sits on Kate’s lap talks to us, in her own language.

Kate has had lots of Dr’s appointments and has started her Physical Therapy. Her Neuro Dr. thinks she may have to have another surgery to fuse the broken bone in her neck to the one by it because the ligament was damaged in the wreck.

She has had two procedures to remove liquid from the left side of her lung. The first one was 2 1/2 days in the hospital her in Medford and a partially collapsed lung. The second one was very minor.

Kate is progressing health wise and otherwise due to her knowledge of the plan of happiness and her determination and hard work. She sleeps a lot and can not bend her head/neck up or down or side to side. This keeps her from caring for Cora which makes her frustrated and Krista and I happy.

So many Dr’s and medical people have told us that Kate and Cora are lucky to be with us. We know where most of that “Luck” came from. Many people have told us that they have been strengthened themselves by what our two families have been going through. That helps us feel a little less indebted for everyone’s help and support.

Kate told me tonight that she feels a peace for Ryan because she believes he has an understanding and has adjusted to his surroundings and is keeping watch over her and Cora. She is still working at getting that understanding and peace. Kate has come a long way, and she hasn’t done it alone. We all have had to lean on our understanding of God’s plan and His love for each of us.

Kate has told us that she desires to continue making a few updates to their web-site as she gets stronger and feels more comfortable doing so. Until then we try again to say thanks and express our love to all who have been watching and contributing to this site.

Dan and Krista Doshier

Kate was released Monday evening around 5pm Nevada time. We spent 3 days waiting for word of her release date. I became impatient with the staff and Dr’s and then one of her Dr’s came into the room looking tired and haggard. We had waited while he attended someone in the emergency room. I thanked him for the update on Kate’s condition and release information. Then I asked him how the emergency case went. He told me they did what they could and moved him back into the ICU to die. I felt so ashamed and my heart broke for that patients family because I know a little more about what they are going through.

We traveled Tue. by car slowly home to Central Point, Or. with Kate reclined in the front seat. We stopped often and traveled a little more slowly to calm Kate’s concerns.

Kate’s is strong and mending and healing more every hour. She is sleeping a lot and we are holding off visitors for a few more days. She said she might like to go to fast meeting Sunday and bear her testimony, but that is not for sure yet.

Krista and I have been watching closely over Cora and her and so far all is well. Kate is a little depressed (with good cause), but overall her attitude is very good. She worries about not being able to take care of Cora very much. But she spends several hours each day beside her, feeds her some, and picks out her cloths and advises us on what to do.

We talk about her Beloved Ryan and Kate makes up silly songs for Cora about Ryan to calm their baby. Cora is doing great. She smiles all the time and almost never cries and is a joy to be with. We feel like we have everything we need for Kate except for time. We all appreciate everyone’s prayers and gifts, they are great. Thank you.

Dan and Krista Doshier

Miracles continue…Kate was released from the hospital Monday, Sept. 21st! She and Cora spent Monday evening at the wonderful Veterans’ Guest House in Reno along with Kate’s folks, Krista and Dan, and on Tuesday they all drove home to Central Point (near Medford), Oregon.

I spoke with Dan yesterday and he reported that although the trip was tiring for Kate, everything went smoothly. They stopped for breaks as needed, then Kate would urge Dan to “get going” again! At one stop at a waterfall, they met a doctor from San Francisco who noticed Kate’s incision from brain surgery and inquired about what happened. As Kate told her the story, she was stunned and told Kate she could count herself as nothing short of a miracle to be released from the hospital already and be so recovered.

We’re so thankful for the countless miracles that have blessed Kate, Cora and all of us! The comfort of the Spirit and our knowledge of the Gospel have made it possible for us to feel great peace. We’re still unable to reconcile the earthly loss of Ryan with any logical or mortal emotional thought processes…we will miss him every single day until we see him again…but our testimonies of eternal families and the outpouring of spiritual comfort are strong and we know our Father in Heaven and Savior are mindful of our sorrow and will watch over all of us, especially Kate and Cora.

There simply are not words adequate to convey the depth of our gratitude for your love, prayers, support and generosity. We were deeply touched to see so many of you at Ryan’s viewings and funeral; your sacrifice of time to bless us with your presence was a great comfort. The music provided by so many dear friends and family brought an added touch of heaven to the day. The beautiful fall day reminded us of the many rich blessings afforded us in mortalily…sights, sounds and smells of continuing life and hope for the future. As cards arrive with messages of love and support, and frequently with donations for Kate and Cora, we read them, give thanks for your friendship, and shed tears of amazement and gratitude for your thoughtful and generous help. We are truly blessed and recognize that we are indeed surrounded by earthly angels. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Tracy and Ron Alder

Hello all of our dear family and friends! I am grateful and amazed to announce that I am actually at the mental and physical capacity to finally reach out to thank all that have and continue to help us through this trial.
I am finally understanding reality. . . wow. It has been a strange road for me catching small bits of life mixed between the confusion of my drugs and recovering state. I understand Ryan’s passing, the miracle of Cora and my survival, and how grateful I need to be to my God for His matchless love and mercy.
I tried to read through our whole web-site today (thank you Karen Smith for making it so functional) and I think I actually made it through the whole thing and am left in awe of the out-pour of love/prayers/fasting/support that I have learned that I have been recovering under. I am afraid I feel overwhelmed with much to say in gratitude for everyone’s help and kind words.
As for my sweet husband Ryan, I love him dearly, long to give him a big hug (that will never end), am growing in understanding of the beauty of the Lord’s perfect gospel and plan of happiness for eternal families, and feel even stronger about the promptings I always had to draw near to Ryan (flirting/dating/marriage/having a baby quickly).
I find myself pouting at times for my loss; but I find that, overall, if I allow myself to grieve, I come out stronger, happier and more in love with my eternal soul mate. I want to speak of him always so my precious daughter Cora may know her sweet father.

I am afraid to go on because I may babel all night.

Thank you everyone. and, I love my Ryan….

Dear Everyone,

I would like to thank everyone for all the kind thoughts and prayers. Thank you for the the support and help you have shown to my family and the Alder family. I am here in Reno with my mom, Kate, and Cora, and I just felt that I needed to share some stuff that I have witnessed from being here at the hospital.

Kate is progressing more and more each day, and just needs to get stronger because she is still very weak, before she can come home. She has started eating a little bit of food, like mashed potatoes, jello and yogurt. Which are huge steps seeing she just got her feeding tube out just days ago. She still has to be very careful swallowing, but she is eating! She has been up and about a little for a couple days, but tonight I witnessed her walk up and down four steps. As she was doing this I say such determination in for face, and such strength. Her physical therapy nurse helped her walk the hall and I saw more because she asked the nurse if she could go faster. I saw in her face and body language she knows what she needs to do to get better, and she is going to do it all as soon as possible. From the physical therapy stand point, they say she is already doing more than they need her to do right now.

We know our Heavenly Father is helping her with reasoning and understanding and with her miraculous recovery. Kate has always been one who has been very competitive with her siblings over the years. She has always been an example of strength, determination and adventure. She is one if you told her she couldn’t do it, she always found a way to do it. She has been many places and experienced a lot.

On Thursday night she was able to have three siblings and their spouses in her room with her and she was laughing and joking like we were all kids again. We spend a good part of the night being silly kids again. It was great to see her being more like herself again.

On to her emotional state I have been so impressed with Kate, she is remembering more and more, her long term memory is great, but her short term memory is a little slower, and needs a little help sometimes. Now that she is remembering more she is sad and upset quite a bit, but she has an optimistic outlook because of the gospel. She is leaning on family to help her in this new chapter in her life. She is very willing and wants to openly talk about Ryan so Cora will always remember him.

I am so proud of her and for all the progress that she has made, and thank you again to everyone for your prayers on their behalf.

– Angie Mireles (Kate’s Sister)

1986 - 2009

 
Ryan Paul Alder, 23, beloved son, brother, uncle, husband and father, died Sep 3, 2009, following a car accident. Ryan was born Apr 21, 1986, in Provo, UT, to Ronald Paul and Tracy Ann Lundquist Alder. He married Kathryn Lu Doshier in the Medford Oregon Temple, Aug 23, 2008, and was thrilled to be the father of a beautiful baby girl, Cora Lu, born Jun 11, 2009.

Raised in Orem, he loved life and those around him, loved building things, sports and the outdoors, was an Eagle Scout, a talented musician and avid learner, ‘04 graduate of Timpanogos HS, served in the LDS Argentina Cordoba Mission, and was a Jr at BYU majoring in Mechanical Engineering.

Survived by his wife, daughter, parents, siblings: Karen (Joel) Smith, Julie (Tom) Dillenbeck, Jennifer (Carter) Avery, Amy, Michael and grandparents Rulon J. Alder, and Robert H. & Kathleen C. Lundquist. He was preceded in death by an infant sister, Kristiann and grandma Dorothy R. Alder.

In lieu of flowers, the family suggests donations to a fund for his wife and daughter.

Funeral services will be held Sat, Sep 19, 2009, at noon at the LDS Northridge Stake Center, 1674 N 200 W, Orem. Family and friends may call Fri evening from 6-8 pm at Walker Sanderson Funeral Home, 646 E 800 N, Orem, and Sat from 10:30-11:30 am at the church. Interment will be held at the Orem City Cemetery.